One step closer

Well its official, I finished my last clomid this morning! Luckily I have only really had a few side effects....mostly just night sweats, and maybe a little moodiness! But all in all the 100mg wasn't that bad. DH keeps mentioning how close we are to doing the IUI. I know he is nervous, mostly about ending up with 3 children. I can't deny that I am getting more and more scared as the days go by. I think in my mind I pretty much know that this isn't going to work (great attitude, right)....maybe I am trying to make sure that I don't set myself up for heartache....but realistically there is NO way to prepare yourself for a BFN.

So, last night at work was terrible. I think in the 2 years that I have worked there, this was one of the top 3 worst nights. Everything that could have gone wrong did. At one point I went to the restroom and as I was washing my hands I looked in the mirror....I noticed at least 3 WHITE (not gray) hairs on my head!!!! I am still in my 20's!!! How this is possible, I don't know. This lead me to think, is the stress of my job part of the reason it is so hard for us to get pregnant?? I always hear that stress has a bad effect on fertility. Maybe its the IF that is causing the white hair. Either way, I don't like it.

On a good note, I am getting my hair cut on Tuesday and I could not be happier! I tried really hard to grow my hair out (per the request of my DH) and I realized that long hair just isn't for me. I used to have this cute angled bob that was shorter in the back and got longer in the front....it was always stylish and framed my face so well. But he wanted me to grow it out so I tried for him. It's so funny how a simple hair style can make a woman feel so bad about herself. I have felt horribly ugly for the last 3 weeks. So, you won the battle hair....I get it....you can stop flipping out in weird places and making me feel bad about myself...I will be taking care of you in a few days!