Sometimes good things come....

To those that don't deserve them! I'm sure by now you wondering where the bitterness is coming from! Well, as always there is a story as to why. I just found out yesterday that my ex-fiance (who is 29) accidently got his 19 y/o girlfriend pregnant. Now, why should this affect me you ask, well it shouldn't and it really doesn't but it is bothering the crap out of me. It all started when my dad was at walmart....he walked down the bread aisle and ran into my ex, and instead of continuing to walk down the aisle and just maybe smiling or saying hi, he decides to start chatting with him. This is the man who cheated on his daughter on and off for years, who stole money from him, who broke his daughters heart, and he has the nerve to strike up a lovely conversation about how he is doing. So after I am given this news I simmer for a bit....I start thinking about how this can just accidently happen to him when I've tried so hard for so long, why my dad would even make an effort to speak to this man....as I'm thinking all this, I start asking questions, who talked to who first, how did this subject come up, etc. Now, at this point I am starting to get angry about the whole thing, and then my dad says the unthinkable...."just get over it!"....just get over it, I said those words in my head and then the angry infertile came out of me and I went off. I started crying and left to go drive around.....my poor DH didn't know what to do. At this point I'm not sure what hurt more, the comment from my dad or the news about my ex.

I am ok today, just ok, not great. I feel bitter and angry. I feel like he told my dad knowing it would get back to me. I'm mad that he can still hurt me even though I haven't seen him in years. I'm angry at my dad for the comment he made....I just don't know how to let it go. I want to be ok with IF, I want to be ok with the fact that it may never happen. I thought I was ok with everything but after the news yesterday its apparent that I'm not. I will get through this, I am a strong woman.....I guess I really have no choice do I?