OPPS!!!

So, here I am apologizing to my blog for neglecting it.....blog I am so sorry that I put you on the back burner....you have been a good friend that always listens to me vent.....and I am sorry :( Things around the house have been CRAZY!! Between family issues, a wedding, a baby shower, work, and my new makeup obsession I have just been a lousy blogger, nestie and email checker. Oh and apparently a really bad birth control taker! I just looked at my packet and I have literally missed 7 pills this month......yes that is correct, it does say 7! But I am being punished for this by starting my period a week, exactly one week early. So if anyone has any ideas on what I can tell my doctor when I go see her, it would be much appreciated! Like I said, I have neglected EVERYTHING! My one and only excuse is that the Internet at work is out.....now don't get me wrong I am a great worker and I always put the Internet last, but at least I know its there when things are slow and no one wants to talk. I have my late night nestie friends to talk to and lots of posts to read and reply to. But lately I quickly check the board to make sure everyone is ok and then go relax. So, if any of my nestie friends are reading this, please accept my apology for being a bad nestie friend!

Anyways, I have decided to break this blog down into a few different parts. The first part is going to be the infertility part and the second part is going to be about my new obsession. So, here it goes!

In light of it being National Infertility Awareness Week, I wanted to say a few words about this. I, as well as my husband, think it is wonderful that someone came up with this. No one knows what it is like to have IF issues unless they are going through it themselves. The frustrations of people making comments who have no clue what it is like to be in someone else's shoes, the UNWANTED advice from fertiles, doctors appointments, pills, temps, charts, I could go on and on. So here's to ALL my IF friends, you are some of the strongest and bravest women I have ever met.....thank you for your comfort and for being there to listen. Now that I got that out.....lets talk about our IF problem. I realized, when the weather turned to over 80 degrees this week, that this could POSSIBLY be our last summer together just me and my husband. I have decided that we are living it up this summer! I want to have plans for every weekend and not only that but I want this to be a summer to remember. Maybe it won't be our last summer together by ourselves but there is a small chance that it will. So, we are going to make the best of it. My husband has a follow-up appointment with the Urologist in May and my next appointment is in June. I will have to start my progesterone blood draws again and they want him to do another SA, so what I originally thought was going to be the start of preparing for an IUI in June has now turned into yet another delay. I guess I have to let the doctors do what they get paid for and that is tell me how to get pregnant. FRUSTRATING!!!

On to my next topic, my new obsession. Taking these birth control pills (BCP's) has somehow had and adverse effect on me and instead of clearing up my skin, I now look like a 15 year old going through puberty! I luckily have a good friend who is makeup obsessed and has now made me obsessed too. For anyone looking for some tips......here they are! Revlon Colorstay foundation is the best thing in the world!! I have never used a foundation that makes my skin look so clear! I did need to buy two different shades to create my own but luckily they were just 50% off at the store. Another wonderful thing is mineral powder. I always looked at that stuff and figured it would never stay on throughout the day.....I was very wrong. These powders also help make my skin look flawless. And on top of all of this, there was no transfer of makeup on my clothes and it seems to be pretty sweat proof. Another tip, always moisturize and use a primer. That helps the foundation stay on. Now I just need to work on my eye makeup and I will be set. I am anxiously awaiting my palette of 88, yes 88 eye shadow colors which I ordered from Coastal Scents. I figure if I can't get pregnant....I can at least look good trying!!! So, that is my new obsession. If anyone has any other tips or products to try let me know!

This is probably one of the longest blogs I have ever written and I must say I have really missed it. There is so much more I want to talk about but I will save it for another day. I now have one follower! Thank you cycle buddy for following my somewhat uninteresting blog! And thank you for noticing that I haven't been around! With so many people on the board, you start to wonder if anyone notices when its been a while since you have posted. You guys are the greatest!

Great News!!!!!

We got GREAT NEWS yesterday!! We found out by doing a second S/A that we are boarderline fertile.....the Urologist believes that by using OPK's that we should be able to do this on our own. If the OPK's do not work then he said that we are great candidates for IUI. We found out that he has 18 million good sperm and that other than then being a little slow they are usable! We are so happy with the results! It made me realize that this could happen this year.....more than likely I will be put on Clomid after the 3 rounds of birth control pills. I just can't believe that the news was so good. I was expecting bad news or at least not very good news. I guess at least I was prepared for the worst.

In other news, I am still having my headaches. It is like clockwork....almost around the same time everyday. I know I need to call the doctor, but for some reason I am the laziest person when it comes to making an appointment for myself. I just need to bite the bullet and do it. I am afraid of what they will say though.

So, almost two weeks of the birth control pills and I had my first emotional breakdown today. I felt like I couldn't hold it in anymore so I just let it out. I think I have done much better than I thought I would on these pills....especially after what I read about them!

Yuck....this is not what I wanted!

I have been on the birth control pills since Sunday and at first things seemed to be ok.....actually they were really good! I thought maybe I had some type of hormone imbalance and that the pills were making me happier.....and then this morning came. I took my pill like I normally do and about 20-30 minutes later I was sure that I was going to get sick. It was horrible. I went to bed and laid there and finally fell asleep ( I work 3rd shift). I just hope that tomorrow is better. Maybe I need to take it and then go right to sleep. All I know is that I didn't ask for this.....the pill that is. I almost want to call the doctor and tell her that I am not going to take them since it is doing the opposite of what I want! Ugh.....I hate infertility!

On to another complaint.....my headaches! I have had a headache everyday since Friday. And not only am I having headaches, I have pain in my left eye and a horrible stomach ache when ever I eat. I am pretty convinced that I may be falling apart. I really just need to call the doctor but really I am just tired of going to doctors right now. I know that lately all of the doctor appointments have been for him but I have had a few here and there and really I just want to not have to go to ANY doctor appointments on my days off. Hopefully it will just get better on its own!

No Provera for me!!

I forgot to mention the Dr. wanted me to take Provera since I was late. Low and behold later that day I started! So, no Provera for me!!! I really didn't want to take it after she told me I was going to be extra cranky.

So, after the horrible winds we had here we finally got our electricity back this morning at about 4am. Over 24 hours without electricity can drive a girl crazy. No tv, no water, no lights, no heat......it sucked! I stayed home from work to keep the kerosene heater running so that our house wouldn't be so cold. I hope that doesn't happen again for a long time. You never realize how much you depend on it until you don't have it.

I start my birth control on Sunday and I am not excited about it. Still waiting to hear back from the fertility clinic about the SA. I knew this was going to take forever! I am hoping to hear something back today since it is Friday. I really don't want to have to wait all weekend to find out how it went.

Well, I suppose I should get dressed and go run some errands. I would rather just stay home and hang out all day but someone has to return the movie that has been stuck in the dvd player since the power went out!

You want me to take WHAT????

So, we did another SA today......well actually he did it and without any help from me may I add! I was so proud of him....the way that he just walked in and did it without any conplaints. I figure he has been practicing for this since he was a teenager! Anyways, we should get the results in
3-5 business days. Hopefully they will have better news for us this time.

So, Monday was my turn for the doctor. She just wanted to do a check up to make sure I was ok after HSG. She asked me where we are in the process with my husband. I told her as much as I could remember. Then she said that she is putting me on birth control to regulate me and until he is done with all his stuff. I was in shock....yeah great idea put the girl who is trying to have a baby on birth control!!! I really don't want to take it but I know it is probably what is best. We will give my ovaries a rest for about 3 months....then its Clomid here I come!!! She gave me some much information thatday that when I left I went and bought a planner to keep track of cycle days and such. Who knew that all of this was going to be so complicated??? Obviously we didn't!

Well, this is were we are in the process today. I can't wait to someday be able to show my child all of this so that he/she can see what we actually went through to bring them into our life. I always thought it was going to be like the movies......accidental and easy. I guess sometime it just doesn't work that way.