Wow its been a while!

I have once again neglected my blog. I feel bad about it but with the holidays and such there was just no time it seemed. Not a lot has changed! Still on a break and still not ready to be off the break yet. There have been so many PG announcements lately and honestly I am glad its not me for once. I am pretty sure I have talked myself in to not wanting children right now. I keep thinking about how nice it is to sleep in and go where I want when I want....how nice it is to buy myself something new and not have to feel guilty about it....how nice it is to nap! Maybe I feel this way as a defense mechanisiam....a way to make myself feel better about the whole situation. It's not that I no longer want to try, its that I am enjoying not trying and not worrying. If you ask me, the wondering and waiting and the meds every month is what drains you.....thinking this month may be the month....maybe this is my miracle....its all so hard to deal with. Then there are the feelings of "maybe I'm not meant to be a mom"......"maybe there is another plan for me in my life". Which we all know is rediculous. Every women should have the opportunity to be a mother. As the months pass and people get more and more pregnant, I notice that it gets harder to hear about, and not only that but I am pretty sure I have turned my husband into the type of person who can't listen to it either....which I feel bad about. I don't know if he feels that way because of how much it hurts me, maybe it hurts him too. Whatever the reason I feel bad about it. I know in my heart of hearts its not a good time for us, I want us to be financially stable and for my husband to be done with school.....which leads me to the title of my blog.....someday it will be our turn......I know it will.